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Rachael HillMemorial Website
Male and Female Created He Them
III. Who Invented SEX? and, What For?
And God saw all that He had made, and behold, it was very good.
- Genesis 1:2
Each generation thinks that it is the one that has discovered sex - that the preceding generation somehow was ignorant of its existence! Funny, if that were so, the generation that thinks this wouldn't even be here!
We all know that the Lord created sex. The question is why? WHAT FOR?
Well, we know that the procreation of the species was one reason, "be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth." Indeed, man has had no problem with that part.
We also know that it was created for pleasure; indeed, we are convinced that it was created for our pleasure. And so the "me" generation has sought "all the gusto it can get" and drunk the so-called pleasures of sex until that which is normal to man and woman no longer satisfies, and new experiments must be tried to "invent" new sexual pleasures. A surprise to God? We don't think so - read Romans 1:21ff.
But we do not wish to discuss the pleasure aspects of the physical relationship here. We will later touch on it in the context of marriage.
We all know that the attraction between a man and woman, especially during the years from adolescence to somewhere in middle-age, is one of the strongest forces known to man. God made it that way. It was God who made man and woman to need each other.
FOR THE MAN
God knew that unless it was exceptionally pleasurable to the man, the typical male would never take time to procreate - given his proclivities to other things such as war, work, competition, games (like golf), drinking, etc. It is highly probable that apart from the sex drive, the male beast, in his fallen state, would find all his satisfaction in such crude things just mentioned and never bother with the woman! Indeed, fallen man without the woman's influence is a beast (I guess some saved ones are too). I speak from experience, having attended both a men's boarding school and a small, private men's college. The college had a nickname for its students that was far more accurate than the school's official team name - we were called by those who knew us best the Cavemen; only sports announcers used the official team name. The word Cavemen was descriptively accurate. With no influence from the opposite sex, crudeness was not only vogue, it was a challenge to see who could be the crudest. But as soon as a dance week-end arrived, clean-liness, manners, and gentleness ruled - all because of the influence of women. I personally believe that the strong sex drive in the male is partially there to force him to submit (yes, submit) to the greater graces that are dominant in the female.
We know that the Word of God tells us that the Holy Spirit in God's people has a restraining influence on evil in the world. Could it also be that there is an earthly side of this truth? It is often said that the Holy Spirit represents God's feminine side - could it also be that woman's presence on this earth, and man's need for her, also is a strong restraining influence on the bestiality that would exist from the male without such restraint?
I think we can all imagine what this world would be like without the restraining influence of the woman. All we have to do is look at times and places where the influence of the woman has not existed and we can find bestiality beyond comprehension.
What women do not realize is that God intended that they have this restraining effect on the male. Does this restraining come solely by her presence? I do not think so. It really comes by the woman exercising the only power she has over man: denying him the pleasures she can offer unless the man gives a corresponding commitment (lifelong) on his part. In other words, he must pay a cost. Where the woman gives her pleasures to a man without cost, the restraint is lost. And then men become beasts who devour one another and their communities. How naive women are to not know that this is the one key reason that the male's potential for bestiality is so loosened in our day. Some places of our world are truly reaping the results of this loss of restraint.
Yes, sex was created for procreation. And pleasure. And to subdue the beast in the male!
But there is something else we will see.
FOR THE WOMAN
Not being a woman, I dare not represent her side of sexual desire. But I do think that unless God had made it so that the woman's "desire shall be for her husband", she would probably not give such a crude and offensive creature as man the time of day!
And what sensible woman would ever want a second child after experiencing the cost of bearing and delivering the first? Indeed, today we hear frequently this cry from young mothers, "One was enough! Never again!" But, the cost of a child is forgotten quickly in the presence of a woman's desire for her mate. Only in this century can she conveniently separate her desire for her mate from the bearing of children, but, "from the beginning it has not been this way."
I do not know for sure, but it seems to me that part of a woman's desire for the physical relationship is a longing to be wanted, to be needed, to be close, to be intimate. I do know this: the sexual desire in a woman is radically different from that in the man. And I think that it is not only beyond the comprehension of this poor man, but probably every man but the One who created her. And God made it so.
Someone once said, "A man gives love to get sex; a woman gives sex to get love." Though this is by no means a totally true statement, it seems that there is truth in it.
Also built into most women, though not all, is the strong desire to have children. Again, this has its origin in God. We see this throughout the scriptures, and it was not just an issue of social standards as some would have us believe. It was a deep, deep longing in the heart of women who knew they were created to leave another life in this world, or even another life to place into God's hands (Hannah). What is a child? A fruit of oneness. Literally, the child is the physical representation of "the two shall become one flesh." It has in it all of the father and all of the mother, yet it is unique and separate in itself.
It is not our burden in this short work to probe the depths of why God created sex. I question whether such a focus could be edifying. But we do want to lay a hold of one important fact. The physical union of the man and woman is, more than anything else, designed by God to be an experience and matter of oneness. When the Word of God addresses the issue of sexual immorality, it says, ". . .do you not know that the one who joins himself to a harlot is one body with her? For He says, `The two will become one flesh.'" This is true of the physical union, whether it be in the context of marriage, or outside of it.
What do we mean by oneness? How about "uniqueness", or "specialness"? Nothing is more special, or more unique, than when there is only one of them. When there are no others, its value is the highest, sometimes beyond measure, priceless. When one has a collection of Rembrandt's, they are only paintings in a collection. When one has only one painting, and it is a Rembrandt, it is most special.
I believe that God created man and woman that they could find and have one relationship which is totally unlike any other. Absolutely unique. Special. Holy. In fact, holy is the best word, because this is what holy means. . .."set apart"; "sanctified"; "separate" in the sense of being unlike any other. So different from every other relationship that other relationships cannot even compare with it.
What is the opposite of oneness? Well, two-ness is a start! If you have two of something, neither one is unique! Neither is special. How about three-ness? Even less unique. How about 100? Not unusual at all. How about 500? Now it's common. The opposite of special. The opposite of unique. The opposite of HOLY.
I do know this. God has created in both the man and the woman a deep longing for a relationship with their opposite that is absolutely unique, absolutely special, one of a kind and unlike any other, HOLY. Where we are so close to another that we actually are one.
How strange - we want another who is our exact opposite in outward and inward nature, yet we want to be one! Usually it is opposites that attract: the overweight marry the thin; the introverts marry the extroverts; the dreamers marry those who have their feet embedded not just in earth but sometimes in concrete; the sloppy marry the fastidious; and so on.
We know there is in our opposite that which we need, which we cannot do without, which balances us, complements us, contrasts with us, and yet we want to be one. One in spirit. One in soul. One in body. And this is from God.
And God's enemy is against it. And he will go to any lengths and any deceptions to prevent this oneness from ever happening. How? Let us see . . .